fat fat fat!

recently, baby commented that i've been getting fatter. when we met just now, the first thing he did after hugging me was to pinch my tummy fats. omg, *humiliated and dies*. i don't know why he loves doing that. maybe he thinks its cute? it makes me feel so self-conscious and embarrassed though! i do know i've been putting on weight and gaining fats around my waist, thighs and the worst place that can't cover up fats; my face. ya duh, it's my body, of course i know i've been growing side ways for quite some time now. but to have it shoved up my face, by the guy i'd want to look nice for, is really really humiliating and upsetting. not to mention it makes me feel insecure to realise that my boyfriend does care about appearance! like what if i grow too fat and he decides he doesn't want to be with a fat chick? *insecurity woes*

after that comment and revelation that baby does mind my size (a bit, he claims), i had like, mixed feelings? on one hand, his comment made me more determined to lose weight and regain my slim (or skinny as some people used to comment) frame - which, was what i had in mind long before, when i realised even my face was getting rounder (i really loved my long, sharp almost fat-less face). on the other, i felt rather unhappy and felt like baby didn't love me enough to accept whatever size i am? :/

emo-ed for a night and then decided, what the heck! so what if baby liked me for my appearance? i'll deal with that later. first, i got to get back into shape! cause i myself can't stand my current figure! plus i'm working in the fashion industry, how to 出去见人 (meet people) if i cannot maintain a fashionable image? but then, i really very lazy to keep fit..i admit, i belong to the 懒女人 (lazy girl) category. especially with my thyroid condition, my stupid heart cannot take much vigorous exercise. and i find it a chore to count calories and eat healthy food. i can never stick to a diet, cause i just love eating so much. >.< to make things worse, i have an unhealthy obsession with chocolates, bubble tea, mac fries and recently, cornetto vanilla ice cream! doesn't help that taking thyroid medicine lowered my metabolism rate and made me grow fatter! how i relish the days where i had high metabolism and could stuff my face full of food every few hours without gaining weight! sigh...

so how? how do i lose fats from my face, fingers (yes, i have stubby fingers), tummy and thighs without much vigorous exercise? tried to google it but mostly kept repeating the same thing which i already knew. healthy diet, drink more water, exercise..blah blah blah. but no specific 'teach-me-step-by-step' kind of exercise instructions. maybe i should check youtube? lol.

last night, i dug through my facebook albums for old photos of myself (don't ask me why i don't store much photos in my lappy) and did a comparison of then (slim) and now (fat). quite a bit of difference (in size) i think! up till now people still compliment me for having a slim figure (so not true please!) and say i'm crazy or anorexic when i lament about being fat. bitch please! it's just that i more or less know how to hide or cover up my fats. and i'm unashamed to say that i recently bought a corset to try and get back my old waistline. heck, i've already admitted that i'm getting fat and lazy. what's there to be ashamed of the methods i use to attempt to regain my figure?

anyway, below are the old and recent photos of myself for you to compare! (and also an excuse to show off my old camwhore photos luh.)

#1 BEFORE - 2009 to 2010

#2 AFTER - 2012

so y'all see! can do the comparison yourselves right! face much rounder, figure..no need to state the obvious kae! couldn't find the even older photos. even skinnier then! *emo*

censored the faces of my baby and my friend as, like i've mentioned in my previous post, baby doesn't want to be identified on my blog. as for my friend, well, i need to protect his privacy as well right!

so..what are you're slimming methods? do share if you have any k! thanks! ^.^

as for now, i made it my goal to sleep early, by 12mn the latest (huge challenge for me) and wake up at 5am (no choice! work starts at 8.30am and i need about an hour and a half to doll myself up) to jog for half an hour before getting ready for work. baby thinks it's quite impossible for me to stick to this goal..and truth be told, i kind of think so too. :x but i'll try! and i will also try to eat healthy! also another hard task for me, based on past experience, will go all health nut and bankrupt myself buying all those pricey organic food (half of which would probably go to waste cause the taste really sucks) and try to avoid fatty food for like...around two weeks, maybe three? then will go back to normal and eat whatever junk i crave for. >.< thank god the only redeeming quality i have is that i dislike tidbits like chips and other related junk food. else confirm super fat one!

okays, this is becoming quite a lengthy post! shall end here and...try out my new diet? >.<